Jaffe Morning Briefing: Sept. 29, 2015

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JAFFE COMMUNICATIONS GIVES ITS TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

The content and opinions expressed herein are those of Jaffe Communications and do not necessarily reflect the views of NJTV.

TRUMP-WORLD – In a Trump Administration, it seems everyone would get huge tax breaks! HUGE! Donald Trump would slash taxes all over the place and simplify the tax code. If you make under $25,000, no taxes! If you are married and make under $50,000, no taxes! If you are middle-income, huge tax cuts! If you are rich, big, fat tax cuts! Businesses – from major corporations to mom-and-pop shops – would also see their rates slashed to no more than 15 percent, down from the current corporate tax rate of 35 percent. Trump would eliminate the estate tax. Businesses would have fabulous tax cuts. It will be tremendous! Tremendous! So, President Trump, how will we pay the $4 trillion federal budget? Hmmm. China?

ON THE ROADS – With gas prices again at surprising lows, this is another golden opportunity to raise the gas tax to pay for all these crumbling roads and bridges. In the past, Gov. Chris Christie has slammed the door on any new New Jersey tax that could look bad to voters in Iowa or New Hampshire. But it seems like the governor may be softening a bit – acknowledging how screwed we are – saying he would consider a gas tax hike as long as there are cuts to other taxes. Of course, no specifics on what other tax cuts that would be. The trial balloon is out; time to check the polls!

MONTCLAIR – You can bet legions of Yankees fans will try to camp out at the Church of Immaculate Conception at 10 a.m. this morning, when a funeral is set for legendary catcher Yogi Berra. It will be a private ceremony, likely filled with Yankees greats from over the years. But it will also be broadcast on the YES Network, while the Yogi Berra museum is planning its own memorial from noon to 5 p.m. on Oct. 4 for the fans.

AT THE GROCER – Don’t expect your cheddar cheese to be sliced extra thin anymore by that guy working the counter at A&P, as the grocer has sent layoff notices to 8,648 workers at 94 of its stores in New Jersey. Adding to that number is the recent announcement that 319 employees at its Montvale headquarters are also possibly getting laid off this fall, as part of bankruptcy proceedings. Lots can still happen; people still need to eat food to exist. So, all are hoping for the best.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ROCHESTER, NY – If you are running a National Toy Hall of Fame, how can you possibly not include the Wiffle ball? Luckily, that incredible injustice will be righted this year, when the Wiffle ball and 11 other finalists are considered for induction on Nov. 5. Amazing what other toys are on the bubble, like Battleship, the scooter and Twister. Last year, the prize went to those little green Army men, the Rubik’s Cube and bubbles, joining such favorites as Barbie, the Easy-Bake Oven, G.I. Joe, the Frisbee and View-Master in this international tribute to plastic.

BRUGELETTE, Belgium – Perhaps researchers have officially run out of things to study on a panda. They are now rifling through the animal’s poop to learn how it can digest tough bamboo. Perhaps, through this unpleasant exercise, they can learn how to develop new generations of biofuel. Or perhaps this is all just a great practical joke from those funny guys in Lab 2-E.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

If there is one thing we know about the often hapless Jets, they are leading historical experts in the punt. It was this day in 1969 that Steve O’Neal sets a NFL record with a 98 yarder against Denver.

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WORD OF THE DAY

Battologist – noun

Definition: Someone who repeats the same thing needlessly.

Example: Someone who repeats the same thing needlessly.

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